White House for rent, cheap

---

“A portrait of an elderly woman in glasses and a red hat” by Alex Harvey on Unsplash

White House for rent, cheap

Here’s your chance to move up

I think we need some new people. The whole Trump thing for the first year was trying to keep up with all of these crazy people that started showing up in the White House and the news. We all understand that Trump is incompetent, mentally challenged, and has severe personality disorders on top of being a common, low grade asshole. we really have that down. Plus his family shares elements of all of these things with a complete lack of common sense. I mean who would ask the Russians for major help in winning an election in the United States and not think that someone would call foul with handcuffs and a team of attorneys behind them? Sweet Jesus that’s a dead giveaway that you’re looking at people that have probably bought the Eiffel Tower and the Brooklyn Bridge several times already. Come to think of it there’s been a lot of bad real estate that only Russians could love in this package from the beginning.

Anyway a lot of those people are already forgotten, particularly as they didn’t hang around long enough to do more than startle us, cause a few muttered expletives, and then they were gone. The ones that have hung around for awhile now are definitely way past their pull date. It didn’t help that Trump set the bar so low you had to wriggle in on your belly and get caught lying on your first day. I mean what do you do for an encore? That’s the problem with lying as your primary shtick. Everything’s a lie and then people don’t pay attention anymore.

Sarah Huckleberry Panders has definitely over stayed her welcome. It was actually kind of cute when she showed up after the press conference comedy nights in the first few months of the Trump disaster. She had only one look and that was full disgust. Then they got her a hair stylist and some make up and she looked surprised at herself. It was also obvious that she knew total bullshit when she recited it but sense god had told her to do this she was not going to let anything, like shame, stand in her way. That is a ‘funny once’ and then kind of interesting to see if she would choke up on the increasingly stupid statements she was given, but she didn’t. And then the White House press corp began to look like a media industry intern convention as senior people gave up wasting their time. This definitely needs some new blood. Maybe blood isn’t quite the right word, given Trump’s fondness for wife beaters, but some new anything would help.

Speaking of wives, I’d suggest a new one if Trump wants to keep the interest up in his last few months. I’m pretty sure Melania would happily resign for a million dollars a week or so. I’m not sure what Trump could get at this point but I would bet that one of his Russian acquaintances would be happy to have a go at it. She might even agree to stay in the same White House as Trump. For enough money. A new female player (its all old white guys) would be interesting and might up the ratings a bit as they are really starting to slide.

A new family would be good too, but we really don’t have a way to divorce a family. But it’s pretty obvious that Mueller has finished with the appetizers over the last couple of months and is ready to move up to the main meal. The junior Trumps seem to be just waiting around to be taken away. After Steve Bannon described what would happen to Don Jr. when Mueller got him the whole thing is now anticlimactic. No one really wants to see him cracked like an egg. I think the fear is there would be no yolk, just a lot of white. We have that thoroughly visualized already. Maybe we could just skip that and go right to the main course. But that is Mueller’s show so he gets to call it.

Kelly seems finally on his way out, and it may be way, way out. But unless Ivanka decides to club him over the head and drag his body out the side door there’s little excitement to be expected in that quarter. At this point Ivanka and Jared, themselves, have become bit players. There is some talk of them resigning from the family, sorry, White House, we can only assume in a futile effort to distance themselves from the indictable offenses. But that is such a weak plot line no one may notice when they go. What can you expect from a bunch of third raters? Ivanka can probably fade away but Jared is definitely on Mueller’s menu for the main course.

Even with the entire White House and US government to ruin these folks don’t have much creativity. My god, a wall on the Mexican border that’s been kicked to death and a banana republic military parade that has probably rolled all the way down to the bottom basement at the Pentagon with no one willing to plan it, is pretty much all that’s left.

We definitely need some new players. Mueller, please, help us out here.